Falling slowly, sing your melody

Things I dislike

1. IU's String and Piano Academy programs. Why? EVERY FUCKING PRACTICE ROOM IN THE ANNEX IS RESERVED FOR THESE CHILDREN. And if you're in a practice room and it's either between 8 and 10 a.m. or 2:30 and 3:30 or 3:30 and 5:30 then they can KICK YOU OUT, even though you pay THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN TUITION to attend the Jacobs School of Music and most of them probably aren't going to do this professionally anyway. And if you refuse to be kicked out, you get this bitchy lady snapping at you and a nice e-mail from the Dean (didn't happen to me, but to Keith, who, for all the teasing he puts me through, is actually kind of a badass at sticking up for himself). It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have EVERY FUCKING ROOM reserved, but they do. I have checked. Every single practice room in the annex. Which actually isn't as impressive as it sounds, because it's not hard to walk by doors and see if there are signs posted on them.

To summarize, WHERE ARE LEGITIMATE IU STUDENTS SUPPOSED TO PRACTICE?!

2. Marches. A:LkfjF:LKLAKFJ:FLKJ. John Philip Sousa, I would KILL you if you were still alive. We are playing no less than fifty-seven different marches in band. (Okay, maybe more like six...) Also, I swear on all that is holy to me, I will NEVER play in an IU band again, so long as I'm here. I had forgotten how much I hate band until I had to play in one today. At least the trumpets are hilarious all the time. I really do <3 my studio.

3. Music history. Do you know how many hours I spent doing music history homework today? Count 'em: FOUR AND A HALF. Not even joking. Ugh. That is too many hours of homework. FAR TOO MANY.

</capsrage>

Other than the severe annoyance brought on by the things listed above, summer's going pretty well. I'm pretty lonely, but that should get better once Katherine gets here. I've never liked staying in a house by myself. The fall needs to come sooner. More people (three in particular) need to be back in Bloomington.

Things I dislike

1. Wings' loss today. Don't really wanna talk about it.

2. Seeing a centipede on my bedroom wall. Yeah, not sleeping in there tonight.

3. I never elaborated on this, but I ended up getting only 11 of the 20-25 hours I requested at the library for the summer. So I need to find a second job or else starve/not pay for utilities/give Yamaha my trumpet back. Oh dear.


Things I like

1. 4 months today! I will see him again in 2 1/2 more (which I suppose falls under the "dislike" category)

2. Playing trumpet is fun.

3. I go back to Bloomington in five days.


Why do I stay up so late?

It's okay, it's okay. Everything's okay. The past is not repeating itself.

In other news, TODAY. Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Red Wings v. Penguins. I'm nervous. GO WINGS!

Also, today is a week from the beginning of summer classes. Monday is a week from orchestra auditions. I will be ready. I'm in the best playing shape I've been in in a long time.

I really want to win a job. Really. I'm going to, too. Just you wait. One of the grad students, Doug, just won 3rd/utility trumpet in the Louisiana Philharmonic. He's a badass.

Ugh, it is late. I really, really need to start fixing my sleep schedule. Ah, summer. Here's to endless nights and lazy days. It's been nice, but I'm ready to re-enter the world of productivity. Haha. Even though the library screwed me over and I need to find another job. I want a music-related job. See previous paragraph. That probably won't happen. Actually, I think it'd be cool to be a bartender. When I'm 21, I want to learn how, so then I can support myself through grad school.

OKAY SARAH, GO TO BED.

I am SO glad that Datsyuk is back. <33

1. I suddenly have the Sundance channel, which shows films from past Sundance film festivals. Homg yes.

2. I <3 Patrick. Oh so much.

3. The Wings will recover from today and come back even more awesomely than before.

4. I have read four books for fun since I've been home, which is more than I read in an entire semester. Damn school, interfering with my pleasure reading. Anyway, I hiiiiiiiiighly recommend The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Words cannot describe.

5. I go back to Bloomington in two weeks! Yaaaaaaay

6. I have had a string of amazing practice days. Let's keep it up!

7. Gabie and Paul are two of my favorite people ever, even if they like to torture me relentlessly.

Here's to summer! =D

1. ABDELKADER! YEEEEEAAAH! (His name just sounds like he's going to...eradicate you. Abdelkader, eradicater...YES.)

2. We need to be more aggressive, especially from the beginning of the game, and actually, like, keep the puck out of our zone. Oh God. I was so scared throughout most of the second, until we scored our second goal.

3. Wtf, Malkin? Zetterburg > you.

4. I have a deep and abiding hatred for NBC's announcers, although they were more tolerable this game than yesterday.

5. To quote a sign from a different game: "OZZY SAYS NO!" Jesus, he's been amazing.

6. I will admit that Crosby is pretty damn good. Well, pretty damn good when not being swarmed by the Red Wings and limited to what, 4 shots in 2 games or something? And no points?

7. Now, it's going to be harder to win on Tuesday. Home ice advantage and all.

8. However, if we have Datsyuk back...

9. AWWW! They're interviewing Abdelkader on TV right now and he's adorable and all smiley.

10. This is why we're awesome. We don't just have, like, two star players. Everyone is awesome and does awesome things. Although we need to be more aggressive from the get-go.

TWO MORE. YEEEAAH!

paulhendrixson (2:08:53 AM): I GIVE UP
paulhendrixson (2:08:55 AM): ahhhh
paulhendrixson (2:09:01 AM): you win

I swear to God, I will go on my own to Black Pine Tree if I have to (even though I intensely hate going to restaurants alone), but I am having an intense sushi craving. C'mon, Southgate LJ friends. You know you want to...

In other news, I just finished the first segment of my practicing. Ugh. Remind me to not take days off.

I also highly recommend the movie Once.

Red Wings tonight! GET IT, BOYS!

I have become afflicted with laziness.

I don't want to practice, I don't want to run, I don't want to read. I just don't want to do anything involving effort.

WHYYYYYYYY

C'mon, brain, let's get back into it! Orchestra audition are in LESS THAN A MONTH and I still suck ass at La Valse and Till Eulenspiegel. I am a good portion of the way through The Yiddish Policemen's Union, and it's a really good book. And I swear on all that is holy to me, I will lose ten pounds this summer or die trying, and I'll keep it off.

Maybe I should just be lazy for a day. But I didn't practice much on Saturday, I didn't on Sunday, and I played for about 10 minutes yesterday.

Argh. Okay. Might as well go practice. At least routine, even if I don't hit the excerpts.

I just finished reading Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpra Lahiri, and I have to say, there are few things I've read in my life as heart-wrenchingly beautiful as that. It's a collection of short stories. Normally I'm not a short story fan, but we read one of the stories in my English class first semester freshman year, and I liked it enough to finally buy the collection. Anyway, I highly, highly recommend it.

Yesterday I went to a Tally Hall concert in Lansing. I've posted pictures on Facebook. Anyway, I love Tally Hall so much. They played a lot of new music, and I'm definitely looking forward to their next CD release. It was my first real non-classical/jazz concert, I think. I mean, I saw them once before, but that didn't really count. Three bands opened for them. The first one sucked, but the other two were pretty good, Lightning Love and Malbec.

Trumpet playing is...I don't know. Good, surprisingly enough? I have started looking forward to my practice time each day again, which is good. I needed this, needed the summer to rediscover the love I thought I had lost. I have started approaching it with a different mentality. It isn't that my skills have suffered; it was never that primarily. The failures I've had is a direct result of losing, or nearly losing, my love for music. I know what happened. Why it happened. And now it's time to fix it.

How much do you want it? Well, after this year, turns out nothing could shake the determination I possess.

I'm back in Eastern time and it's weird. Asdfjkl. I spent 22 hours in Gabie's car today. My brain has melted. It rained for the latter 10 of those hours, otherwise we'd have made it in 18. Ugh. Ugh ugh.

BUT I'M GOING TO THE WINGS' PLAYOFF GAME ON SUNDAY! Western Conference Finals, versus the Chicago Blackhawks. Words cannot describe my level of excitement. After having to listen to Thursday's game on online radio, after having to live off of Internet for my Wings fix all year, this is glorious.

There is FOOD here. In my house. Unlike my Bloomington house. Craaaaazy.

I miss Patrick. But he owes me cookies now. Hahaha. You just don't bet against the Red Wings. I'm trying not to be scared and stupid. Ah, but it's difficult.

I need to go to bed. But I'm so glad to be back. I'm going to be bored out of my mind in a week or two, but for now, I'm happy.

Tomorrow, the work begins...

1. Turns out I won't have to take out a loan from Chase after all. I apparently had leftover money from my Stafford loans this year, enough to cover the stuff my summer scholarship didn't cover. SO GOOD. I don't even have to worry now. Another trumpet player, a doctoral student named Brooke, works in the financial aid office, and checked into my account and told me all of that. I <3 my studio.

2. The theory exam was actually not too bad. I can see a B on it. Not bad at all, considering I learned everything I needed to learn about it 3 hours before the exam. XD

3. I'm in Wyomingggggg! It is SO BEAUTIFUL here. The world from the top of a mountain is something that cannot be put into words. Also, Gabie and her friends are awesome, even if she's got all of them calling me a robot, WHICH I'M NOT.

4. Trumpet playing isn't too bad. My flexibility is in the garbage, but that can easily be overcome. I'm getting a great sound and my articulation, surprisingly enough, is rockin'. I do not regret taking 9 days off, that's for sure.

5. I'm excited to go back to Michigan! Especially to see my family and friends. I'm sure I'm going to get bored as hell after a week or so, but it'll still be nice.


Okay. Time to party? Although Gabie still seems to be asleep...

The Good:

1. My mom got the better teaching job! This means more money, and puts my family in a better financial position.

2. I am done with my sophomore year after my theory exam tomorrow morning and do my philosophy take-home final.

3. I am going to Wyoming on Thursday to visit Gabie!

4. My dad is getting baseball tickets, I'm going to a DSO concert, I imagine I'll go to the Firefly Club, I'm going to go to Cedar Point with Liz (and probably stay at her house), and also hang out with Gabie, Paul, my sister, Brittany, Stefani, and anyone else who wants to. As such, I'm excited to go home.

5. I MAY GET TO GO TO A RED WINGS PLAYOFF GAME.

6. Stephanie and I signed the lease to our apartment for the fall. I'm excited.


The Bad:

1. Not seeing Patrick for three and a half months is going to suck. I've been a little weepy all day. Seriously, I would have been so much worse off throughout all the Kristin/financial/music drama I endured this semester if not for him. I spend my time doing everything but taking care of myself, and he did that for me.

2. My final paper for my O'Neill class was pretty bad. Ugh. Not on top of my game.

3. I just worked a 6 1/2 hour shift at work and it has sapped the life out of me.

4. I am not looking forward to dealing with the various airports I must go through in order to get to Wyoming. 3 1/2 hour layover = gross. I do plan on reading a lot this summer, though. So I guess that'll be a good time to start.

5. I won't see my IU friends (with the exception of Liz, who I'll see when I'm in Michigan, and Katherine, who will be here for the summer) until the fall. Goddamn.


The Ugly:

1. This theory exam is going to be ugly as fuck. I pretty much stopped going to lecture these past couple of weeks. I have my work cut out for me tonight.

2. I currently have no way to pay for college, unless by some miracle Chase gives me the loans I need. So.

3. My eartraining hearing was downright ugly.

4. My trumpet playing's going to be ugly, after not playing for a week. Oops. I need my motivation and my love for music to come back before I pick it up again, though.

Gabrielle: you know me, always "molesting around"


Paul: I stumbled across this ridiculous place

And strangers IM you on it

and I don't really want to be there

but

I keep telling people I'm from Atlantis

and it's hilarious


Whee, up late, doing the reading for my annotated bibliography/paper proposal, with sleep far away. Story of my life/so it goes.

We have so much left to sing
There's a storm for every spring


YES I can do this and I want to do this and I want it and I'll do it. It took an epic fail, a desire to give up, nearly choosing that, and watching a well-played recital to make me see it.

It just isn't that hard, to make music. I don't know why or how it became so. I can guess, certainly. I think it had to do a lot with last semester. But now things are different. It is time to get back to where I was a year ago in terms of mentality. I can DO it. I ran the Bitsch twice yesterday, and if I play it at my upper divisional like I did either of those times, life will be grand. And I will.

Time to play.

I think I'm four or five episodes behind in House, two in the Office, two or three in Lie to Me, and at least one in Lost. Sad.

I'm also at least twelve hours behind in sleep. Very sad.

I'm in the process of looking for a new place to live next year, because Kristin decided to go off the deep end on us over having a couple of dishes in the sink, and apparently that's been building up all year. Of course she never mentioned it. And, oddly enough, she's rarely here, because she's always with Ben, so I'm not sure how she gets to make such a big deal about everything. Oh well. The shit hit the fan, we cleaned it up, and Stephanie and I are moving out. Stephanie is going to study abroad, and I will be getting the blessed peace and solitude of a single apartment, hopefully in downtown Bloomington (at least, that's where I'm going to look today).

It takes a lot to get me really angry, folks. This definitely did it. Needless to say, I've been staying at Patrick's place for the past several nights, because of that anger. Ah, he's the best. Has a nice, calming effect on me. Tonight is date night, yay.

Another thing that's been pissing me off is how, after not working on the Bitsch for a week, I can play it absolutely fine and well, and I couldn't do that on the day of the studio recital. Oh well again. At least I'll be fine for my upper divisional, which is what really matters now.

My papers will be fine, although I foresee several late/all-nighters in the near future.

I am going to Wyoming to visit Gabie, for realz. Bought the plane ticket yesterday. Let me tell you, it will be nice to get the fuck out of Bloomington for a while. And I finally get to see the mountains! I'm super excited.

My schedule in the fall is schweet. I have ONE class on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Compared to my Tuesdays and Thursdays this year, this is AMAAAAAAAZING.

I used to update a hell of a lot, and now I don't. Hmm.

Well, I should finish getting ready, so I can go downtown and look at apartments.

How about a positive entry for a change?

1. My room is CLEAN. I mean, you can actually sit on the big, round chair, you can actually use the desk, and all of the clothes are in the closet. It is a miracle. I have no idea what came over me. I just decided to clean. It won't happen for another four months or so...hahaha.

2. I have a topic for my philosophy paper, and my AI approved of it. Yessss. Simone de Beauvoir, you are my muse.

3. Jazz band is over.

4. Last weekend is long over.

5. I made $350 in one day playing trumpet. That doesn't happen often enough. Easter needs to occur more often.

6. Things with Patrick are very, very good. Verrrrrry good. XD

7. We are having a party tomorrow night, for Kristin's birthday SHIT MOTHERFUCKER I need to make cake(s). And jello shots. Ughhh, what have I done all day?!

8. I, for some reason, have completed 2/3rds of a theory assignment due next week on Thursday. What's wrong with me?

9. I am all caught up on Lost. This show is driving me crazy.

10. I am definitely going to visit Gabie after school is out. I am potentially also going to Minnesota with Patrick, but that has yet to be determined.

11. I had a lesson on Thursday that gave me a lot to think about.

12. I am three exams, two papers, one upper divisional, two quizzes, and one assignment away from the end of the year. I can do this. Although I am worried about the upper divisional...

13. The excerpts for the summer orchestra audition are out? This is SO WEIRD. They released them two months early! Wtf?

Okay, I need to go get shit done.

Wow. What a hellish week. I think it's over, though. Just one more thing left...oh, and then tomorrow, and work on Sunday...nope. Nevermind.

One day there will be an update. I just don't have enough time these days.

Every so often, I feel the extreme desire to change things about my life.

So, let's see...I have a new haircut, a boyfriend, a renewed interest in school, renewed motivation for trumpet, a new research paper topic, a plan for exercising and eating healthier, a new trumpet and a way to pay for it, and I am now a member of the library softball team.

All of those things are relatively new, occurring within the past month and a half.

What else?


1. A new job. And, quietly, the search begins again. It isn't that I don't like this job. Far from it. I just need to get paid more and be able to work less, because honestly, I need more practice time.

2. Summer music plans. Being here by myself again just isn't going to cut it, especially if I can't take classes. I have some ideas...

3. A car. Yeah yeah, I know. I should pay off the trumpet first. But having a car would really make my life a lot easier.

4. More political activism. Enough said.

Okay, work is finally over.

You'll never guess what I did today.

XD